Letters from the Garden (01/12/2023)

Hey there! I feel like I flew off the deep end of sanity sometime around august and It’s only just now that I’ve finally woken up and managed to get a grip on my brain. A lot happened in 2022 that kinda knocked me off my feet. I was gearing up to move out of my state, and then had every option explode in my face which sent me into one of the biggest mental spirals I’ve ever seen before. I’ve taken some time off the internet, re-centered myself, put myself back together and have a bit more hope for the future.

I got a little lost in the internet hate that got sent to my twitter dms by someone with too much free time and have more or less been kept alive by the generosity and care of some of my closest friends. I’ve been doing a lot of writing, and trying to put the Machine God series in the forefront of my mind as a story that I desperately want to tell. It deals heavily with some religious trauma that I’ve been working through in my spare time. If you haven’t read it yet, you can find it Here for $5 on itch.io. All future updates will be posted there for it.

Currently I owe my sanity to a lot of things and the first and foremost has to be this random Stray cat that showed up in my backyard around the time of my return and subsequent mental descent.

For the first few months that I saw her she was completely closed off, constantly hissed and would often actively fight my efforts to feed her. I’m not sure why but I grew sort of obsessed with this cat. Everyday i’d come out with food and fresh water, set it down in front of her and would then head back inside and which point she’d approach. After a while though…

After a lot of sitting outside when she was around and watching youtube videos and eating outside, this stray finally let me get close enough and got to the point of sniffing my hand.

And with persistence, caution, and a little bit of trust…

These days, she just waits at the door, I come outside, we chat for a little bit and feed her and toss her a few snacks and then she meows at me until I pet her. I hope she survives the winter.

That’s not all we’ve been doing! We went to go visit a friend who is basically family at this point at the end of December. We took our cameras, and just explored a state with them. I stayed offline almost the entire time and I gotta say, logging off is the best thing I’ve ever done. I feel like myself again finally.

In no particular order, here’s a few of those photos we took.

Green light rains from above into an orange night sky with trees peaking out above.
An edited photo of the moon. A hole at the center obscures a white light. Purple and pinks glow across the night sky almost like an aurora borealis
A photo of the sunset as  wispy clouds obscure and rocket across the sky.
A photo of the moon in complete detail.
A photo of the moon of the full moon lit through an opening in tree branches. The moon's details are obscured as it is simply a lit up orb.

Photography shown was a joint effort between myself and a friend called Star. you can find more of Star’s photography here.

I don’t entirely know what 2023 has in store for me. I would like to spend it Streaming more, writing more, and spending more time on photography and with the people I love.

Maybe 2023 is the year we actually go hard on our ttrpg writing projects I have sitting aside. I know we want to brush up Infinite Soul which currently sits in the same state it has been from 2018 on itch. I know we would like to rewrite the lore for that world, brush it up and get it to a state that I’m actually satisfied with. Who knows.

Here’s hoping your 2023 is kind, loving, and leaves you better than you found it.


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