“Hello and thank you for calling Lost souls hotline, my name is
Unimportant, how can I help you today?” Endlessly repeated words said to
anyone that ever called in. Words that were normal and mundane to anybody
but the person hearing them.

“I see, and can you tell me what you’d like to be forgotten today?”
Unimportant blinked, her light dissociation broken.

“I’m sorry, si- I mean, ma’am, can you be a bit more specific? I’m not
sure what Everything means in this context?”

“You heard me right the first time. I want it all gone. Everything about
me. Gone. I want it all forgotten, lost to the past and never to be heard
from again. If you could literally remove my past self from existence, that
would be great.”

“That’s a lot to erase. Are you sure you want that?”
“Every last bit of it. There’s too much. There’s too much I’ve done, I
want a new leaf but no one will let me. I want a fresh start that no one
can give me. Everyone remembers every single terrible thing I ever did and
It haunts me. I’ve tried to atone. I’ve tried to get better but it’s just
never enough. So fuck it. I’m going the easy way. I just want it all gone.
No more. Just let everyone forget about me please. Just let them leave me
to rot away into nothing before I hurt them again.”

Unimportant clicked her mouse a few times and paused.

“Ma’am? I’m reading here that you’re 25. Are you sure you want to do
this, Most of our clients tend to be in their 60’s. What are you looking to
get forgotten?”

A sigh came from the other line through a strained whisper, ”Listen, I’d
really rather not go into it. A guy on the street gave me this number, can
you wipe it all or not?”

Unimportant’s eyes trailed over the monitor for a brief moment as she
took stock of just what she was erasing.

“This… Is a pretty normal life ma’am.”

“No! I don’t want you to look at it, I want you to do your fucking job.
Like can you fucking erase it or not!”

Unimportant sighed, “Ma’am I don’t want to be stern but this is my job.
This is irreversible. I am required to ask these questions, inform you of
how things look and then say ‘thank you have a nice day’ at the end
regardless of whether or not I mean it. It’s a job. I’m willing to push
this switch for you. I just need you to understand the gravity of what
you’re asking me to do”

“Just get rid of it.”

“Even this call will be erased.”

“Do it.”

“There will be no record of you ever doing anything, ever being anyone,
ever seen anyone. Your family will not remember you after time. Your close
friends will slowly drift away and you will lose them all. You will lose
everything and everyone you ever cared about. Do you really want to do



There was a long pause for a moment.

“Do they pay you to be a therapist?”

“They pay me far more than you realize sweetie.”

“I was raised in a cult. I was raised in a cult society, that controlled
the government around me, and actively fought against anyone being able to
believe anything different.”

“Ah, Utah Mormon. So sorry hun. Yeah they did do that didn’t they.”

“Well I only broke out of it a year ago. There’s so many things that I
wish I could undo. There’s so many conversations, receipts, screenshots
everywhere of everything I’ve ever done that was terrible and I only
recently just started actually fucking trying to be a good person. And
there’s all this discourse about how ‘you shouldn’t have to try and be a
good person’ and it’s like ‘no actually, I try very hard to be a good
person a lot you know, but now I just feel worse.’”“Hun, you sound like you need to spend less time on the internet. Like
okay, I get it. That’s what your parents said in the past but holy SHIT.
Being online is literally affecting your mental health and it is quite
seriously having a HUGE effect on you. Log off. Just log off. This isn’t
the internet of our childhood anymore. Like I get our brains have been
conditioned by these websites but seriously, sometimes you just HAVE to log
off. Everyone’s trying. We’re in the middle of a generation shift. You’re
about to hit your late 20’s. This is the period of like making friends and
hanging out and just bonding with people who you want to spend the rest of
your life with, or decide if you don’t want to spend the rest of your life
with. Erasing those connections is just going to make the rest even

“They’re not even worth it. They don’t care about me. They’re all just
trying to hurt us again. I can tell.”

“Uhuh? Okay. I see. You just want to run don’t you? You just want to run
away and leave everyone you ever cared about behind because they hurt your
feelings and refuse to apologize. Is this what that’s about?”

“How do you know this?”

“Well, as I said, I have all this information in front of me. You think I
don’t know what your life’s been like? It’s the one you’re asking me to

“Is it-”


“Wait what?”

“Yes actually, it is my job to look at this. Plus I like doing it.

Everyone’s so different. Every single person alive is so different you
know. Everyone has similarities, but how the similarities happen is always
different. The combinations are limitless. They all love things so much and
they all have favorite things and they’re all different colors and
personalities and everyone’s just themselves and thats the only thing they
can be. But they’ve got all these sorts of selves that they have. Different
mask for different interactions. Or… At least you did. You want to forget
all of them?”

“That feels… how the HELL do you have that info”

“What, you think I know how this works? This is as magical to you as it
is to me.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“No worries. Just need you to remember what we’re forgetting here.”

“Okay but I don’t want to remember it. I want it to all go away.”

“Why would you? These are some beautiful connections dear, so bright and
vibrant, where the HELL are they going you know?”

“It’s all going to end though. All of it. None of it ever lasts. None of
it ever matters. I’m so tired of getting close to people and slowly pulling
out my heart only for them to look suddenly revolted at what lays beneath
every single layer. At just how deep the shit pile goes.”

“Okay but They won’t do me any good anymore. People don’t like that level
of weirdness. They don’t like that level of mentally ill. You wanna know
what they do? They look at you and baker act you.”

“Colorado is not a baker acting state”

“It could be with the wrong voting history!”

“Okay but it currently isn’t. And a lot of people there like it that way
you know. Like if someone tries to change that you realize what that gets
close to. Look at where it IS. It’s in FLORIDA right now.”

“Okay I guess so.”


“Still want me to hit this button?”

“What if I can’t make new friends though?”
Unimportant smiled as she scrolled through the screen, “hun your roomies
have Coworkers right?”

“Yes but I don’t see-”

“Tabletop roleplaying games”


Unimportant continued, “All it takes is one session usually you know.
Even one shots are a blast with people who know how to have fun.”

“But I don’t want to run the-”

“Then don’t”

“Run whatever you want. Just tell them it’s like a longform board game if
they’ve never touched.”

“Lord how much do they pay you?”

“Enough :)”

“How do I get your job?”

“Well you get me to give up mine.”

“Oh is this seriously an inherited role?”

“Well yes actually. You convince me to erase you and then you take my
job. That’s what this job is. A life of being forgotten. I sit here most
days and do nothing really other than answer the occasional call and in
return all my needs are taken care of, and nobody has to see me ever again.
I just sit here in this box day in and day out learning about people until
one of them can convince me they need this more than I do. It’s the perfect

“Does it get like… lonely in there?”

“Oh I’ve definitely got a few screws loose from the solitude. That’s what
it does to people. Sure it’s great for a bit but then you go a bit mad from
the lacck of human contact. Or maybe it will be different for you. I don’t

“What was your reason for coming in?”

“I think it was a guy in his seventies. He said he’d been in there for
thirty years and that the last person he met was just as old as he was when
they started so he said ‘why not let a young person do it’”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh you want to know why I locked myself away from everyone for a decade?
Refused to tell them the truth of what went on in my mind wand lost my
20’s? Why I was scared of the truth of my own soul just for the pleasing of
some old white guys who don’t really matter? The truth is I don’t know.
Someone gave me the number and said “maybe you’ll be the one”

“No I mean, why did you want to call?”

“Oh it was a bad breakup. Just some girl really who didn’t exactly know
what to do in a situation like me. Just some girl who I was in love with
but didn’t have normal ways of expressing that and then when the pressure
was on, I broke.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry.”

“Naahhhhhh you’ve got it a little harder don’t you? Friendships are
different aren’t they. They’re different to you”

“Well I mean. Yeah. Like I’ve never dated anyone before. I’ve never had
someone that was in love with me. Everyone gave up the moment they got
close enough. They would like start to date, and then bam the moment I get
inconvenient. Really kinda kills the relationship vibes you know. But these
friends. They lasted 7 years. We were friends for nearly a decade. I went
to their wedding, I was in his wedding photos. I was in his goddamn wedding
photos. I just… can’t escape it. It feels so all encompassing. The entire
state was spent with them. And now most of his traces have been deleted and
I want to go with it too. I just want to get lost. I want to be forgotten
by everyone who’s ever known me so I can escape and stop existing and stop
feeling like the worst person imaginable because I had a meltdown. I just
want to like stay away from people for years and just never have to deal
with anyone ever again.”

“Well, I hate to tell you this, but that’s not what this place is.”

“Oh no, is there a monkey’s paws?”

“No, but you’re gonna be switching places with me! And I really do think
you need this more than I do right now. To be honest, I want out. I’m 30
now. I’m fucking 30. My twenties? Gone. Just gone, gone in the blink of an
eye. I want out but I am not going to EVER let you be forgotten again.
Because I have this number too. And I’m gonna call and check on you every
once in a while because that’s what someone did for me.” Unimportant
once in a while because that’s what someone did for me.” Unimportant
slammed a fist down on her desk.

“Wait what?”

“Yeah! Sorry! You can’t be alone, who are you gonna talk about the people
to? Other people? Come on, NO, I get to tell you my stories now. I’m out. I
can tell you. You’re gonna have so much fun in there, but I’m going to be
your anchor so you don’t lose it and snap on someone. And in return, we get
to talk about how great this job was, and in a few decades, I’ll send
someone your way and if they really need it, I’ll let you know. Deal?”


“Yeah Lana?”

“What’s your name?”

“We’re not there yet.”

“So you get to know everything about me, but I get to know nothing about

“Yup. That’s how this works.”

“Fuck this is better than therapy.”

“YES, I KNOW. Now get some rest. You’re going to wake up here. Bring
anything important you want to remember and put it on your towel”

“What if I don’t have a towel?”

“Then one will be provided for you, but please hurry, I want out. I want
out asap. You need this. And I want out. Make sure you take your time, but
not too much, okay?”

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